Don't Make Me Come Back Up There!

It seems my city is going a little crazy without me. First there was another attack on a Jewish school, and a homeless man stabbing someone to death not two blocks from my old office, then, a week later, a plane makes an emergency landing on Parc avenue*. And now Dawson College has just had a Columbine-style shooting. What the fuck is going on? This is Montreal, people, not fucking Pennsylvania or New Jersey. I think everyone just needs to CHILL OUT. The city's got enough problems with protection rackets and gangs without the rest of its citizens just killing each other for the fun of it. Just stop.

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*Since no one got hurt, this one is actually kind of cool. I mean how often to over a thousand people get to watch a plane land less than 200 metres away?